A Word on the River

I was strolling down the lower banks of the rainbow river. There’s a long stretch that I frequent by the city limits. It tends to be the only part of the city where I can find reliable solitude. I really needed to take a break to think. I’ve been having what can only be called flashbacks, and they’ve been interfering with my work. Sudden images of a British woman’s face accompanied by the most intense emotions I’ve felt in years tend to break my concentration. So I was trying to calm down, to do something.

Suddenly, the muzzle of a gun pressed into my back.

“Hands up,” said a young male voice. My hands went up slowly.

“It would be a shame for you to shoot me,” I replied. “I’m wearing my only green suit.”

“Just give me your wallet, man,” the voice insisted. Unfortunately for my assailant, I’m not the compliant type. I whipped my body around and slammed the hard wooden shaft of my cane into the side of his face. The would-be thief went sprawling and stumbled about twenty feet before falling onto the ground, allowing me to get a good look at him.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you to wear black when you do business? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but your t-shirt is light blue. It’s a miracle I didn’t see you a mile away.”

The kid looked shocked, but he was determined. He held up the gun and pointed it at my stomach. “Just toss the wallet over here to me.”

I laughed. “Really? I thought we were past that.” I took a step towards him.

“I’m warning you, man.”

I kept walking. “Have you ever even shot that thing before?”

“Don’t take one more step.” He was almost screaming.

“Or what?” I asked sarcastically. I have a big mouth.

The gun when off. I buckled as the bullet hit my stomach, causing me to stumble back a step. Then I straightened again. An amber stain began to form on my shirt.

“What the hell?” the kid exclaimed.

I looked him dead in the eyes. “You had to go and ruin my shirt, didn’t you?” I kept walking towards him, grabbing the gun from his trembling hand. I shot him in the head. “Sorry kid, but I can’t have you running home and telling your mama about me.”

It took a minute, but I managed to throw his body and the gun into the river. They both sank swiftly. The rainbow river isn’t like other bodies of water. By the time they find him, he’ll be unrecognizably caked in wax.

I’m standing in my bathroom now, burning my shirt in the sink.

I need a drink.